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Blonde Jokes
How can you tell when a blond has been driving your car?
There is lipstick on the steering wheel from her blowing the horn.
What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? Artificial intelligence.
What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet? Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.
What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board? It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.
What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.
Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved onto the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it-why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"
The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick."
John Hazel
John Hazel
The Phone Call !!
A man checks into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely.
Anyway... he thought of one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab..
He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo.
She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up to her... you know the kind!
He copied down the phone number and returned to his hotel. When back in the room he figures, what the hell, give her a call.
'Hello?' the woman says. (God, she sounded sexy!).
'Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex.. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we'll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, wear a strap on, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want baby. Now, how does that sound?'
She says, 'That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line you need to press 9'.
John Hazel
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